While my husband and I were grieving our failed adoption, our friends and family would try to make sense of it for us. We often heard “There is a baby out there that needs you more.” It was comforting to a point, but we were still broken and, again, waiting. 2 months after the failed adoption, my cousin reached out to me. She was hesitant, as we were in pain, but she knew she wanted to forward me some information. She explained to me that her best friend works with a lady whose cousin is pregnant and considering adoption. Did you follow that? 😊 I have always heard that a large percentage of private adoptions originate this way. A friend of a friend of a friend etc. It seemed like a long shot to me, but through my tears, I told her she could share our profile with the expectant mom. A profile is, basically, the marketing tool for adoptions. In the profile, we showcase our families, values, traditions, dreams and tons of pictures. Two days after this exchange with my cousin, I received a call on my cell phone. It was from the cousin of the expectant mom. She explained that her cousin was interested and will give me a call. Wait what? Within an hour I heard from her. She was blunt and said “how do we do this”? I was taken back a bit. I asked her if she wanted to meet us? I know we are great people, but I felt like I needed to prove this to her. She said ok. After this exchange, our communication was spotty, as she didn’t have a phone. We went a week without talking and I figured it was not going to happen. I then received a call from her as she was on her way to the hospital with labor pains. Wait what? This is all happening so fast. I haven’t shared this news with our families yet. I wanted to make sure of the situation before I brought everyone on board of a new rollercoaster with us. I didn’t know this mother, her situation, her habits etc. It was too much for my anxious personality. I like to be in control, to a point. I like to have questions answered and ducks in a row. I had none of that! Being a person of faith, I believe God took the wheel at this point. She was not in labor. They were false labor pains and was sent home. We now had the opportunity to meet.
We had dinner and hit it off right away. She was great and had a lot of dreams. She was outgoing and very engaging. This baby was her 7th child. She said to me at dinner “Isn’t it crazy, you can’t have a baby and I can’t stop having them.” We laughed at the irony. The conversation got serious as she explained her reason for choosing an adoption plan. She was sick. She wasn’t sure what was wrong but she felt it wasn’t a good situation for her. Her breast was malformed and she had been afraid to see a doctor because she didn’t want to have to terminate the pregnancy. With that said, she had not had any prenatal care. She explained to me if something happens to her, the baby she is carrying is one she doesn’t have to worry about. She had 6 children at home she has to focus on and plan for their future. We were taken back by this conversation. So much emotion was flowing through me. She was protecting a child that she did not intend on raising. She was putting this baby before herself. What kind of person does that? A truly giving, caring, selfless person, that’s who! I was in AWE of this. She, again, asked me how do we go about this adoption. I felt much better to answer this question now. I connected her with an attorney so she was fully aware of the process and her rights. After she met the attorney, the attorney called me. She loved this mom. She didn’t feel this situation was risky, as she knew what we had just gone through two months prior. She set her up with a dr appt the next week to get checked out so we can have a better idea of the due date of the child. Could this be the baby that needed us more?
This story will have multiple parts! Too much I want to share. Stay tuned.