This blog is part 2 of “A Baby that needed us more” published on 8/10/17.
In my previous blog, I explained how we were connected with a potential birth mom. After meeting this potential birth mom, feeling a connection, connecting her with an attorney, we were anxiously waiting her update from her doctor’s appointment. Since she had not had any prenatal care to this point, we knew this appointment would confirm a healthy pregnancy, determine due date and maybe even reveal the gender! It was exciting. I waited all night for a phone call. I tried calling the last number I had for her, but no answer.
The next morning, feeling a bit discouraged, I went off to work. Upon arriving and setting up my laptop, my phone rang. It was her attorney’s office advising me that she is at the hospital, being induced, and wants us there. Holy moly! The range of emotions I felt was overwhelming. I was just prepared to hear a due date. Baby steps here… literally! I quickly called my husband and gave him the news. When he got up from the floor, he came to pick me up. This was happening so fast.
When we arrived at the hospital, she told us that the doctor was very concerned with her health and wanted her to give birth so they could start treating her for what he suspected was breast cancer. Once the baby was born, they could focus on her needs. It was time for her to make herself a priority! The induction was taking a while. She did not want any drugs for the labor so she was in pain and hungry. I seriously considered buying her some chips or something. The hospital room was dark, the tv was on with no sound and my husband and I were just staring at each other. I recalled from our previous meeting that she does not like to talk while in labor, understandable. Out of respect, we were silent.
At this point, I still have not clued my friends and family in about this situation. To everyone else this was a normal Thursday. It was far from normal for us.
Around 6 PM it was go time! Labor was progressing. Nurses were visiting often. They called for the doctor. Being her 7th birth, they knew it would go quickly. And they were right! The baby came out quickly and was rushed to the warmer. No one announced the gender. When I watch births on TV, they always yell “It’s a boy” or “It’s a girl.” I was trying to look through the crowd of professionals but could not see for myself. I rushed over to the warmer and finally saw it was a girl! I turned to my husband and said “it’s a girl.” We both broke down. The mother was adamant I be the first to hold baby girl to start the bonding process. I think she sensed my nervousness because when I leaned down to hug her she whispered in my ear that I was going to be a great mom. Being chosen and trusted to be the mom of someone’s baby is surreal. It is a lot of pressure! It is the most important job and I didn’t want to fail and let her down.
I was now comfortable to make some phone calls! I called my parents first and surprised them with the words “We have a daughter.” There was a lot of happiness and many questions!
After things calmed down a bit, the hospital set us up in our own room with baby girl and my husband raced out to get her the well-deserved dinner she had been craving from Dennys! 😊
She was released from the hospital the next day. She was anxious to leave as she never planned on being away from home that long. She just thought she was going to a doctor’s appointment on Wednesday! She came by to say good bye and my husband gave her a ride home. We were released with the baby a couple days later.
Every state has different laws on when a woman can sign adoption papers. In our state, she had to wait 72 hours after birth. This was a moment we were patiently waiting for considering our failed adoption. The fear of having to ‘return’ another baby was haunting me. Little did we know, she was at her house fearing we were going to change OUR minds. She was so comfortable with this decision and felt it was the best for all involved and was hoping we were feeling the same way. We were! We were in the company of family when we got the call that the papers were signed. We cried and we exhaled. We were a family. It was official. This was the actual moment we had been working towards for over 3 years. We were parents. I. WAS. A. MOM. This was the baby that needed us more. We so needed her, too.