Blog

Home / Blog

Before you decide to Just Adopt! By Coleen Mietzner

Many people going through fertility treatments wonder if it’s worth the trouble.  Treatments are extremely taxing in many aspects of one’s life.  You are usually physically “off” due to hormones, broke due to cost and lack of medical coverage, emotionally and spiritually questioning faith and Why Me?  If you had a crystal ball and knew the outcome, it would help answer that question of worth.  News flash, there are no crystal balls.  Everyone in this scenario has to make their own decision on when/if to make the switch to adoption.  Loved ones, knowing your struggles, may offer the advice “Just Adopt”.  “Just Adopt”.  Sounds so easy.  I’m going to “just adopt” (sigh). Some couples really struggle with this as one person may be ready to switch gears before the other. …
Read More
She wants to meet us?? Meeting a birthmom By Kristine Collins

She wants to meet us?? Meeting a birthmom By Kristine Collins

My daughter had just turned one and my husband said something along the lines of “how nice it would be if she had a brother or sister to play with”. I took the bait; hook, line and sinker and started the certification process soon after, had photos taken of us together (harder than you think to find a family pic of the three of us) and updated our profile letter. When we were approved by the state to adopt the second time we only told the attorney that matched us with our first daughter’s birthparents and I started to pay attention to the distribution list emails from another attorney I came across our first time around on Facebook. Honestly, I was not ready to add another baby to our family…
Read More

Baby is born! Part 2 of “A Baby that needed us more” By Coleen Mietzner

This blog is part 2 of “A Baby that needed us more” published on 8/10/17.  In my previous blog, I explained how we were connected with a potential birth mom.  After meeting this potential birth mom, feeling a connection, connecting her with an attorney, we were anxiously waiting her update from her doctor’s appointment.  Since she had not had any prenatal care to this point, we knew this appointment would confirm a healthy pregnancy, determine due date and maybe even reveal the gender!  It was exciting.  I waited all night for a phone call.  I tried calling the last number I had for her, but no answer. The next morning, feeling a bit discouraged, I went off to work.  Upon arriving and setting up my laptop, my phone rang.  It…
Read More
Failed Match. Were we ever going to be parents? By Kristine Collins

Failed Match. Were we ever going to be parents? By Kristine Collins

After our failed match, I quickly started to research foster to adopt. This was an avenue we originally decided not to pursue as reunification was the primary goal, I was actually told by an employee that “adoption was a failure of the foster care program” so we didn’t have much hope. We also wanted to adopt an infant, which is possible, but unlikely through the system. I honestly didn’t think I was strong enough to care for a child, bond with the child, then return the child to their parents. All the reasons we had initially for not going this route, were still, heavy on my mind. We felt our experience of our failed match may be a message sent to us to look for our child through another route.…
Read More

A baby that needs us more! By Coleen Mietzner

While my husband and I were grieving our failed adoption, our friends and family would try to make sense of it for us.  We often heard “There is a baby out there that needs you more.”  It was comforting to a point, but we were still broken and, again, waiting. 2 months after the failed adoption, my cousin reached out to me.  She was hesitant, as we were in pain, but she knew she wanted to forward me some information.  She explained to me that her best friend works with a lady whose cousin is pregnant and considering adoption.  Did you follow that?  😊  I have always heard that a large percentage of private adoptions originate this way.  A friend of a friend of a friend etc.  It seemed like…
Read More
Stages of Grief? By Kristine Collins

Stages of Grief? By Kristine Collins

Unexplained Infertility is our diagnosis; which is translated to “the medical community has no idea” why I never got pregnant. We had completed four rounds of intrauterine insemination (IUI) with all the hormones used for IVF. Our fifth IUI resulted in 15 eggs! (way too many = overstimulation) and we had to put it off until the following month. Waiting for the next cycle to begin we started to talk about adoption, nothing specific just asking each other questions to get a feel for how we both felt. One topic we both felt real strong about was that we would finish our infertility treatments before we would ever consider adoption. Going through the adoption process while going though infertility treatments seemed impossible to us as they are both incredibly difficult…
Read More

Those Eyes! Part 2 of “Everything was going great, until t wasn’t” by Coleen Mietzner

This blog is part 2 of "Everything was going great, until t wasn't" published on 7/10/17. In June 2015, I was sitting at an ocean side restaurant in Hawaii having a celebratory dinner with my husband!  It was our 10th wedding anniversary and our 1st vacation without the kiddos.  It was a great time in paradise, recharging from the hustle and bustle at home. As I was sitting there, I heard a Facebook notification on my phone.  It was a friend request from the birth mother of our failed adoption 6 years prior!  When I saw her name, my heart skipped a beat.  So many questions went through my mind.  What was she reaching out to say? Was everything ok?  We hadn't had contact in the past 6 years so…
Read More
Our Hearts Sank. By Kristine Collins

Our Hearts Sank. By Kristine Collins

We had completed four rounds if IUI, a ton of hormones, vitamins, minerals, and most of the grieving process when we decided to adopt privately and it was time to actually start the adoption process. After we had “the talk” we started to research everything adoption and found a few constants. One was a local attorney that was highly recommended by Google, blogs and a couple websites. Walking into an attorney’s office was a bit daunting. The dark wood, formal front desk, big cold leather chairs in the waiting area made us feel quite small, almost like we were waiting to get in trouble. I guess we never gave it much thought but we had many preconceived notions of what attorneys were like. Luckily, she was warm, inviting and very…
Read More

Everything was going great, until it wasn’t! Failed adoptions, not always a scam. By Coleen Mietzner

This blog is a hard one to write.  I experienced a failed (disrupted) adoption at the latest stage possible.  I had been bonding with the expectant mother for 6 months and journaling to the baby girl so I could share what it was like anticipating her arrival. I was documenting everything I learned about her family so that I could share with her as she got older.  For example, when the expectant mother ate chocolate, the baby girl jumped for joy in her belly!  My husband and I chose a name for the baby that meant a lot to us and our family.  The nursery was dolled up and clothes were washed and hung in the closet.  All the legal paperwork was done and paid for, showers were had, FMLA…
Read More

We want to adopt, now what? By Kristine Collins

When you search “adoption” the internet provides billions and billions of results. All of them really boil down to a few options; International, private, agency or foster to adopt. All have the same end result but the methods and cost are very different. We listed the pros and cons of each which made our choice very obvious to us. When my husband and I started to talk about adopting we didn’t do much research on international adoption. Dealing with government agencies, orphanages, and foreign languages was quite daunting to us. We focused on adopting in the U.S.A. exclusively for those reasons and we don’t feel allegiance to any other country. We just had to figure out what path we would follow; private, agency or foster to adopt. Private adoption seemed…
Read More